I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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