i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
