I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my being single is dangerous.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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