i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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