He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
did i walk over a car last night?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
