You work out of a Hotel?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
