So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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