Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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