Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize
