this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
