Jerry, you need to find god
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
