ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
