I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
