Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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