How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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