Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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