we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There r osticjed everywhere
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
