where am i from again
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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