dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My ass is underappreciated
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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