Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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