he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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