whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
