I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
