Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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