Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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