honey bunches of taint.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
bring money and cleavage
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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