already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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