My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
