Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
