i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize