Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
