after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
