just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
