so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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