Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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