I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
