I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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