CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's official drugs can't kill me
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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