Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
