He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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