I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
