He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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