Duck Duck Cougar?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
