doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
