Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
