It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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