no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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