I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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