sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
