Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize