Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
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I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
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Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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