After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom