worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
