are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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