Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
