Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
