Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize