I'm pants shitting drunk right now
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
