nut hugger
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
