sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
