Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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