No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
